When you’re over forty
and you’re still looking for a mate,
quiet the hieroglyphics of the mind
by cultivating courage and self-discipline.

Don’t let yourself get bald, a pot belly,
man boobs or love handles.

Never eat high glycemic carbs or sweets.
Enter every marathon and triathlon.

Like a Zen warrior aiming for satori,
do a hundred push-ups and pull-ups daily.

Swim, jog, bike, lift weights, jump-rope
and do abdominal crunches
until you develop a washboard gut.

Stuff yourself with raspberry keytones
and Dr. Crain’s Pondera for a release
of endorphinates to attain equanimity.

Do Tae Kwon Do, Hapkido
Jiu Jitsu, and Tai Chi Chuan
morning, noon and night,
and you’re bound to bond
with the sweetest little lass half your age.