Every morning before she awakens, I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat,

grab my magnifying glass and search for a sign of life.

I listen for a breath, almost any hint of movement, like the barest flutter of her nightgown,

or a slight wrist pulsations will do. If she’s still alive, I wake her with delicious kisses.

Confucius says: You are never too old to enjoy creative sex.