He cuts in and out of traffic
always having to be first in line
in his explosively farting car.
He’s customized his exhaust pipes
to sound like an antique Ferrari.
He must be the same old jerk
who dumped a pile of dog poop
in the doorway of a Verizon store
that deprived him of his cell phone.
Since his wife left him, no cell of his skin
can survive without eating hot Piroshki
for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
All she ever wanted was a new Caddy
every year that he was unable to provide.