When they first moved in
they were all smiles,
waving hello to each other
as if on a gangplank.

Before squabbles arose
Christmas gifts were exchanged,
gossip enjoyed by the ladies
while hanging the wash.

The men borrowed tools
and laughed at ribald jokes.

But minor irritations arose:
Tools damaged or not returned,
unruly kids, fat bullies
showing no respect.

Blocking my driveway, refusing
to pay for my garage roof
when their tree crashed down.

Good neighbor policy ended
when it was revealed they were
anteidiluvian libertines
who wanted us to join them
in a free-love nudist retreat.

The wife proudly reported
her husband was known
as “Supersperm.”

He could do it every night.